Technology Humor Assorted One Liners By Lon Hosford

Disclaimer: I think I thunk these up these on my own. But if another twisted mind also thought of these, accept my deepest sympathy. Computer Glitch    A human being NT    Negative technology    The higher the version, the less you will understand how to use it. 21th Century transporter request    Double click me outta here Scottie. How does a hippie describe using Windows    It's a drag, man. What happens to your files when you purge the recycle bin?    They become Web pages. Triangulation    (1) Ctrl + Alt + Del.    (2) Using OS2 to emulate Windows 3.1 to run a DOS program. Event driven    Politicians and Government. When is talking to a paper clip grounds for justifiable insanity?    If you use Office 97. Where are two places you most often expect leaks    The US Government and Microsoft Office 97 Synonyms for Plug and Play    Plug and pray. (Not a Lon Hosford original)    Plug and pay.    Plug and replay.    Slug and play. Windows    Software needing caulking. The giant sucking sound    Microsoft. V-Chip    The V describes where they (the Government) install it. (Of course after checking for hidden untaxed income.) Why did the speaker refuse output from the sound card?    Because the sound card had mono. Jumper    A person who skips a whole version number before upgrading. A computer technican's question to a travel agent.    Know any technology detox resorts? One bird to another while perched on telephone lines    I do not see what is the big deal about being on-line! Haggered housekeeper doing laundry    Oh dread, another day uploading and downloading! Child to parents about putting away recent laundry items    But I looked on-line as you asked and could not find anything. Line up    Connected criminal suspects Line of credit    Internet access paid by credit card Planet bigger than Jupiter    Microsoft

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