LON HOSFORD'S GOLDEN RULES FOR LEARNING COMPUTER SOFTWARE ON YOUR OWN
For kids (and adults)
By Lon Hosford
Rule #1 - When you press the enter key and nothing happens, something happened.
Don't be a fool and repeat the step. If the computer has locked up, something happened - the computer locked up. More likely, you have erased all data in the computer and your boss will fire you or you have completed the step correctly. Have self-confidence and assume the latter.
Rule #2 - When in doubt as to pressing the space bar, press it.
You will be less likely to receive an error message than not. Also, never ask if you need two or more space bars instead of one because people who know computers will think that you are a real blockhead.
Rule #3 - When typing in a number only use the digits (0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) and minus (dash key) and a decimal (period key).
Avoid commas, dollar symbols, percent signs, parenthesis and other number punctuation. Do not use the letter L and the letter O for entering numbers. If you do you will get errors. And when you report the errors to others, you can expect that they will not return further phone calls when you need help at another time.
Rule #4 - Assume that inserting is done to the left of or above the cursor.
If the software you are using inserts differently, return it.
Rule #5 - Never ever type the word format into the computer except maybe, but try not to, when following it by an "A:" or "B:".
Follow this rule in spite of any contrary instructions. If you wish to break this rule, let someone else type it for you while you face north and chant with both hands in the air "Oh, great god of computers, have mercy on me and protect my data". Also, don't call me if you break this rule and disaster ensued unless you have a budget.
Rule #6 - When faced with typing a one key stroke answer for the first time (such as Y/N), press the key of your choice but do not press the enter key.
Wait to see if anything is happening (disk drives lights come on, messages appear on screen, screen goes blank). If you feel nothing is happening, press the enter key. You should not be "feeling" if the computer is working but sometimes that's all you got to go with.
Rule #7 - Learn the difference between and location of the two slash keys on your keyboard.
One is called the slash key and one is called the back slash key. These keys like the ESC, CTRL and ALT keys were added intentionally to keep you from ever mastering the computer. The slash key is the one showing the question mark (?). Some people like to call it the forward slash key. Whatever pet or foul name you wish to remember these keys by, know the difference between them for your own peace and sanity as well as to avoid those who help you from grinding their teeth.
Rule #8 - Upper and lower case and only matters if it is your own data.
Stop worrying if upper and lower case is correct when teaching yourself computers. Who the @#($&(_ cares? You should know that the caps lock key only effects the letters of the alphabet; i.e., A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, X, Y, and Z (listed here in case you are not sure). Keys containing two symbols require use of one of two shift keys to enter the symbol on the top of the key regardless of the use of the caps lock key; i.e., the question mark on the slash key (see rule #7) or the colon on the semicolon key or check out the entire row of numbers above the letters of alphabet. In other words, you better learn how to type !, @, #, $, %, ^, &, *, (, ), _, +, {, }, :, ", <, >, |, ~ and ?. Please don't repeat the last sentence in front of children.
Rule #9 - Always tap your keys except for Ctrl, Alt, and Shift.
Holding down any other key causes the computer to become excited and heat up. Computers in heat normally emit a high pitched beep. This is not an error message, it is a love call. If this does happen, your computer disks will need proper write protection to avoid (well I hope you can finish this sentence because I cannot).
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